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funny football chants..

mr.white Posted: Fri, 07/10/2005 - 8:10pm
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Apparently this was the chant in tune to Lord of the Dance at the Man U
game.. ............

"Park, Park, Where ever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
it could be worse
You could be scouse
Eating rats in your council house"

Your sister is your mother

Your uncle is your brother

You all f@*k one another

The norwich family

der der der der clap clap etc

- Leeds fans at Norwich

>>

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two andy gorams"...Celtic fans too andy

goram after its revealed the chubby keeper was diagnosed with

Schizophrenia

>>

Charlton fans to Sean Wright Philips "Wheres your real dad, wheres

your real dad!?"

>>

"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy"

Toon fans to JF Hasselbaink. He even laughed

>>

(to the tune of craig david - rewind)

"VAN PER-SIE, WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO - MOLEST HER"

>>

To Graham Rix when he was released from prison after being convicted

for, well, you know... (To the Manic Street Preachers song) "If you

tolerate RIX, then your children will be next"

Anyone have any...


Noble Locks Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 10:24am
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Juntintime wrote:

Sung earlier this season at the Chelski v Gooners match: (I dont know the proper name of the tune sorry guys)

Sol Campbell takes it up the arse
Sol Campbell takes it up the arse
He takes it up the arse,
takes it up the arse,
Sol Campbell takes it up the arse.

Laughing out loud

And at Newcastle v Spurs:

We're turning White Hart lane into a public lavatory,
we're turning White Hart lane into a public lavatory,
we're turning White Hart lane into a public lavatory,
and we all piss up the walls.

fuck off you Spurs,
fuck off you Spurs,
fuck off you yidos
fuck off you Spurs

all those above are lyrically masterpieceds, like a song version of a van gogh. its like john lennon was reborn for a day to wirte footie anthems.
especially the last one, how they work those words into a song god only knows...brilliant.


Norvern Rob Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 12:54pm
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A good liverpool one

Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet.

Laughing out loud


D O G Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 1:13pm

Posts: 2064
Joined: 2003-03-18

All from West Ham:

To Leedscum

"Did the ripper get your mum?
Did the ripper get your mum?
Didd the ripper
Did the ripper
Did the ripper get your mum?"

To Tottscum (to the tune of she'll be coming round the mountain)

We'll be running round Tottenham with our willys hanging out
We'll be running round Tottenham with our willys hanging out
We'll be running round Tottenham
We'll be running round Tottenham
We'll be running round Tottenham with our willys hanging out

Singing Ive got foreskin havent you
FUCKING JEW
Singing Ive got foreskin havent you
FUCKING JEW
Singing Ive got foreskin
Ive got foreskin
Ive got foreskin havent you
FUCKING JEW

To David Beckham after Posh had Brooklyn

Whos the father of the child.......

Brooklyn Di Canio
Brooklyn Di Canio


harker2002 Posted: Mon, 10/10/2005 - 3:24pm
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to the tune of spandau ballet "gold"

boa-teng
allways believe in yourself
your gonna score us a goal
your indestucabaaaale
allways believe iiiiin


D O G Posted: Wed, 12/10/2005 - 5:45pm

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Joined: 2003-03-18

Both to Leedscum

Up your arse
Up your arse
stick your dead fans up your arse
Istanbul to Upton Park
Stick your dead fans up your arse

(to the tune of always look on the bright side of life)

Always look out for Turks carrying knives
do do, do do, do do di do di do


russ74 Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 12:30pm
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leeds v man u
gary neville shags his mother and his sister and his brother
all the neville's shag each other
dirty munic b@@@@rds.


Pancreas Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 9:25pm
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whats the arsenal chant that the north bank sing to the clock end, and vice versa?


denisovich Posted: Tue, 11/10/2005 - 8:18am

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Joined: 2005-06-14

Quote:

because it winds up stupid c**ts like you, now fuck off back where you came from slag.

nice attitude DOG.. you seem like a really sound person.

little pricks like you make me laugh. "slag?" do you practise saying this in front of the mirror in your best ray winston voice.. bet you're a real toughie from the east end aren't you.. fucking muppet.

was just wondering what was funny about saying jew cunts or fucking jew, but you don't seem to have the intelligence to answer. curious, how "fucking jew" is funny but "fucking paki" or "fucking nigger" might not be?

where do you think i come from by the way? - assuming i should fuck off back there

perhaps you can think about it at your next BNP meet.

laters, prick.


MoB Posted: Mon, 10/10/2005 - 10:55pm
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denisovich wrote:
Quote:

Singing Ive got foreskin havent you
FUCKING JEW

and

Quote:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHHH JEW C*NTS.

MoB and DOG, you two think these are funny football chants because why exactly..? interested to hear what in particular you enjoy about them.

Much in the same way Tottenham fans get off calling Soloman Gay.


russ74 Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 8:00am
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also barnsley fans made me laugh! when they got their new yellow and green away strip and constantly chanted its just like waching brazil! haha

cant remember who it was but had to chuckle when one crowd started chanting your just a small town in bradford to us (leeds)


misled youth Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 9:49am
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j600.com wrote:

on away games to liverpool/everton i like the "in the liverpool slums" song the boro sing....

Iiiiin the liverpool slums
Iiiiin the liverpool slums
They look in the dustbins for something to eat
They find a dead rat and they think its a treat
Iiiiin the liverpool slums

That's a classic scottish song that one! (replace liverpool with glasgow). quite like this old one about the neville brothers (sung to the tune of bowies rebel rebel)

Neville Neville, you play in defence,
Neville Neville, your play is immense,
Neville Neville, like Jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville is the name of your dad


John Posted: Mon, 10/10/2005 - 4:17pm

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Joined: 2001-09-20

Not so much a football chant but an alf garnett-esque comment from certain everton fans (11 odd years ago) who called daniel amokachi the 'taxi' because he was big, black and could carry the whole team.

john


dogthomson Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 9:28pm

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Joined: 2005-09-11

A Rotherham favourite...

If I had the arse of a sparrow
and the dirty great arse of a crow
I'd fly over Hillsborough tomorrow
and shit on the bastards bellow
shit on..
shit on..
shit on the bastards below, below!
shit on..
shit on..
shit on the bastards below!


j600.com Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 9:12am

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oh i forgot another one i like, when visiting those thieving scousers we used to sing...

Weve got juninho
youve got our stereos
Weve got juninho
youve got our stereos

(due to the fact they all nick car stereos obviously)


russ74 Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 7:54am
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ooooooooooo
posh spice is a slapper
she wears a big fat jewel
n when shes fucking beckam
she thinks of harry kewil

oooooooooooo
posh spice is a slapper
she really isn't proud
n when she's fucking beckam
she thinks of the leeds crowd

obviusly an oldy
...............................

Cry Cry


Strummer Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 11:01am

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Joined: 2004-07-24

j600.com wrote:

on away games to liverpool/everton i like the "in the liverpool slums" song the boro sing....

Iiiiin the liverpool slums
Iiiiin the liverpool slums
They look in the dustbins for something to eat
They find a dead rat and they think its a treat
Iiiiin the liverpool slums

Iiiiin the liverpool slums
Iiiiin the liverpool slums
Your mum's on the game and you dad's in the nick
You can't get a job cuz you're too fuckin thick
Iiiiin the liverpool slums


mikez4 Posted: Sat, 08/10/2005 - 8:54pm
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The one listed above by the Chelsea (Sol Campbell takes it up the arse) was also sung at Liverpool v Arsenal a mate told me. The highlights on the beeb edited out the song!!

Heres another variation of that song, this time from The Spurs after Ledley King scored against Charlton:

You can stick Sol Campbell up your arse
you can stick Sol Campbell up your arse
cause we got Ledley,
we got Ledley,
we got Ledley at the back.

Heres one from up at Celtic

Hes got ginger pubes,
hes got ginger pubes,
Gordon Strachan Gordon Strachan
hes got ginger pubes.

This ones from Newcastle v Man U

Hes got,
no neck,
he looks like fucking Shrek,
Wayne Rooney,
Wayne Rooney

Finally, one by Bolton fans against Everton:

We're shit, but youre worse than us
we're shit, but youre worse than us
we're shit, but youre worse than us
we're shit, but youre worse than us
(repeat)


Punk Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 10:32am

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Joined: 2003-05-24

Might not be as funny as some of the others, but our European song is at least creative - although we only really sing the first part. In case anyone wonders, Portobello (or Portobelly to the locals) is a beach on the edge of Edinburgh.

To the tune of My Way...

And now, the end is near
We've followed Hearts
From Perth to Paisley
We've travelled far, by bus and car
And other times we've went by railway
We've been to Aberdeen
We hate the Hibs, they make us spew up
So make some noise, the Gorgie boys
Are going to Europe!
To see HMFC
We'll even dig the Channel Tunnel
Or go afloat on some big boat
And tie our scarves around the funnel
We have no cares, for other players
Like Rossi, Boniek or Tardelli
When we're at sea the Hibs will be
In Portobelly!

We can all laugh at the Hibs
When we play Chelsea, Metz or Inter
They'll travel far, to see Stranraer
And go to Airdrie in the winter
While the Hearts go marching on
And show the Hibs the way to do it
They lost at Ayr, but we don't care
We're going to Europe!
Those days, not far away
When we will reach the heights of glory
We'll follow Hearts, through foreign parts
And Gorgie boys will tell the story
How we took three off Napoli
Took care of Beirhoff and Veiri
When we're at sea, the Hibs will watch us
On the Telly!


kid unknown Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 9:21am

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Joined: 2001-12-08

he's french, he's flash
he's shagging leslie ash
cantona! cantona!

wednesday, what you gonna do
your going down to division two
take your band and take your drum
and play that shit to the barnsley scum


MoB Posted: Sun, 09/10/2005 - 9:15am
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To 99% of spurs fans:

Have you ever seen the Tottenham win the league?
Have you ever seen the Tottenham win the league?
Have you ever seen the Tottenham,
Ever seen the Tottenham,
Have you ever seen the Tottenham win the league?

And

You won the league in black and white

Also

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHHH JEW C*NTS.

Plus

We can stick Sol Campbell at the back,
We can stick Sol Campbell at the back,
We can stick Sol Campbell,
Stick Sol Campbell,
Stick Sol Campbell at the back.
Singing We nicked Sol Campbell from the yids,
Singing We nicked Sol Campbell from the yids,
Singing we nicked Sol Campbell,
We nicked Sol Campbell
We nicked Sol Campbell from the yids

Finally

Fuck all, Fuck all, You're gonna win fuck all.

Couple of chelsea ones

Ten men couldn't lift,
Couldn't lift Frank Lampard
Ten men and there fork-lift truck,
Couldn't lift Frank Lampard

Wooooooooooooooaaaaaaaah Franks a Fat C*unt

And

Caaaaaaaaarefree, wherever you may be.
Chelsea ain't got no history.
Lampard's fat
And the rest are queers
And you didnt win the league for 50 years.


UNIQLO