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The official Nan Kid thread

trailofdavid Posted: Fri, 22/04/2011 - 3:21pm
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We need a firm definition of just what constitutes a Nan Kid. Post symptoms and celebrity Nan Kids

Definitions

- NOT KNOWING WHAT A NAN KID IS = AUTOMATIC NAN KID
- Eating each component of a meal in order/ Eating all of your fries before even touching your Burger
- Having Ketchup with every meal/ yorkies with every variation of roast dinner
- Wearing your watch so the face is on the underside of your arm
- Will never eat greens or salad. Has to have things like 'creamed carrot'
- Lunches are always stuff like a multipack of biscuits. Cheaper the better. If a packed lunch has to stick to a rigid forumla and any deviation causes concern
- Don't like beer. Only drink vodka and coke
- Don't like spicy stuff. Orders a korma when forced out for a curry
- Is called Pauly
- F1 is his favourite sport
- Is obsessed with modded vehicles.
- Never allowed to see an 18 movie before the age of 18
- Scared of dogs
- When wearing a rucksack they have massive ones with clips across the chest (which they use)
- Uses Lynx
- Video games console taken everywhere, from holidays to a week working in Aberdeen
- Cuts sarnies into 4s
- Doesnt ever drink water BUT conversely, the only hot drink they like is plain hot water
- Wears Astroturf trainers, but never plays footy
- Thinks that dressing up (eg for a night out) means putting on an ill fitting short sleeve shirt.
- Is proud that said shirt cost £3 from Primark
- Shelters work from being copied by others with their arms, nobody wants to copy it
- Throws like a girl / can't catch
- Wears white sports socks with casual shorts
- Scrubs is their favourite show. Got all the box sets
- they dont eat the white of an egg and they deffo dont like tomatoes. the only salad they might eat is cucumber.
- kids who used to pull bread apart and roll it in to a ball
- at school wore nothing under their uniform jumper
- Still has a velcro wallet
- Wears glasses with transition lenses
- Always the banker in Monopoly
- Goes to Yo-yo / fingerboard / trading card conventions
- Goes/ would go on a cruise
- Mouth breather
- Eats with mouth open and slurps food.
- Tells bragging stories that they think make them sound like a hero, when actually they don't.
- Thinks the bruise/soreness after effects of a small injection is a war wound and needs a return visit to doctor/hospital.
- Receives e-mail alerts for air quality
- Plays Ultimate Frisbee / other sports which aren't really sports
- Uses supposed athletic prowess as reasoning for them not being a nan kid
- Finds fizzy drinks too fizzy
- Has an Alienware laptop

FUK nankids

davinho - goes straight to the top of the lsit as he claims 'dumb and dumber' is the best movie ever made.
coco_m - self confessed
Pauly - banned
Jordan - certified
the conductor - under investigation
r2d2 - going on a cruise
Siriusmo - has never had a brew.
Barrence - Velcro shoes
MuayThaiPimp - tells nankid stories
Duffman - As voted by Fuk
Serbia - Got aids from a flu jab and cant breathe in LDN.
evers} - Has meltdowns when his Arsene Wenger blazer is criticized
d_low} both get nose bleeds if the weather changes a bit too quickly.
Canhato - Watching cartoons all day long.
yellowpages - seperated at birth with scott parker
morgan-r - talks about sex on the internet too much and wont go on holiday to sharm in case of death by shark.
figurine - classes fashion chat on a fashion forum as nan kid
trent, canhoto & lew909 - red dwarf smeg head generals.
Satya - Velcro shoes

Celebrity Nan Kids


skream Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 3:17am
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Laughing out loud fucking hell, do you mess with him at all? hiding the ketchup ect


Ulster_Blue Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 9:32am

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Are u working abroad at the minute? (not that it makes any difference)


Copper Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 10:37am
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Birdman wrote:

Working away from home for a few weeks with the biggest nan kid ever at the moment - about 27 years old, massive flabby stomach and tits due to the fact that he only eats chips, crisps, toast, croissants, peanut butter and chocolate, he also only drinks coke. I am not kidding when I say this is genuinely ALL he will eat (been out for dinner 3 evenings and he has ordered 2 large large plate of chips and a jug of coke both times - he has seen therapists etc about it. He carries his passport and cash in a bum bag that he wears half way up his belly under his polo shirt (that he's worn every day coupled with Rohan shell suit trousers and hiking boots). He had only left the country once before this trip to go to Belgium for a long weekend and keeps telling everyone about his hobby - CB radio. You literally could not make this stuff up.

Jesus Christ


Rez Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 10:39am
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Where the fuck do you work?!


Copper Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 10:40am
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Some man kid at my work is planning to apply at a phone shop on the day of his 18th birthday, as you have to be 18 to work in one.


BOOKSTORECORE Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 10:41am
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I imagine this chap functions within a certain spectrum.


skream Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 2:47pm
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Laughing out loud


Birdman Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 2:02pm
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Ulster - yeah I'm in the US at the minute, have to come over to the West coast a fair bit.

Rez - to put it in perspective I'm a project manager and he is an engineer that I have been provided with by a company (never again) to perform technical work on our behalf.


Jee Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 2:18pm
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Wears goggles and ear defenders to mow the lawn even though he's only using a flymo.


deuce Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 2:34pm
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bit of a specialist one, that one


emiserry Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 2:43pm

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Copperfieldstill wrote:
Birdman wrote:

Working away from home for a few weeks with the biggest nan kid ever at the moment - about 27 years old, massive flabby stomach and tits due to the fact that he only eats chips, crisps, toast, croissants, peanut butter and chocolate, he also only drinks coke. I am not kidding when I say this is genuinely ALL he will eat (been out for dinner 3 evenings and he has ordered 2 large large plate of chips and a jug of coke both times - he has seen therapists etc about it. He carries his passport and cash in a bum bag that he wears half way up his belly under his polo shirt (that he's worn every day coupled with Rohan shell suit trousers and hiking boots). He had only left the country once before this trip to go to Belgium for a long weekend and keeps telling everyone about his hobby - CB radio. You literally could not make this stuff up.

Jesus Christ

You're sure this isn't just due to him being autistic?


doug. Posted: Mon, 18/06/2012 - 3:51pm
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Noble Locks wrote:

how you know they aint going for a sniff.
i never use the urinal, i sniff every time i piss,, so i always piss and sniff from a card at the same time every time i go in there.

Cool


bill Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:02am
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drives into the petrol station on the wrong side and then fills up car with the hose draped over the car's roof.


EVERS Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:12am
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^ is this not normal? i just go for first one that's free?


spitfiredealer Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:14am
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It's more nan kid to only use the pump that is on your side.


Nigel Benn Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:14am

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nan kids would never fill up on the wrong side, they would be too worried about the hose damaging the paint on the roof or worse, breaking their aerial.


quest Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:19am
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that and they wouldn't be confident enough to park that close to the pump


bill Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:26am
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yea my bad, I forgot I was actually doing it the nan kid way by pulling into the correct side and should have actually been doing this all along.


stelfox Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 11:40am
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EVERS is married?

here's one - buys into the myth that hosting the olympics is a good thing for the UK


Casper13 Posted: Thu, 21/06/2012 - 12:03pm
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Nan kids don't care about the Olympics