Posts: 15410
Joined: 2006-09-08
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Is the internet breeding idiots or do I just come across them more now I'm online? Post up the stupid things people say (not just online)
Inspired partly by my lodger trying to find something on Yahoo Answers and the unbelievably inarticulate questions that come up on there. One was "What is lukewarm salty water?"
Anyway, got me thinking about the stupid questions I get asked everyday at work, on ebay, speaking to people in general
To start with, one from work a few years ago that's stuck with me because I still can't work out what the woman could possibly have been thinking.
Somebody placed an order on my site near Christmas then emailed the next day to ask when this item would be sent. So I replied. A few days later I got an angry email from the customer telling me I had ruined her husband's Christmas present by emailing him with details of the order. I told her I'd only replied to the email she had sent me and said I thought she'd maybe emailed me from Outlook Express and accidentally sent the email from her husbands account (if you have more than one email account in Outlook Express one email account will always be the default, presumably her husband's). She was having none of it. I tried to ask her where she possibly thought I could have got her husband's email address from if I didn't get it by replying to the email she obviously sent me but she wouldn't listen. She then went on to say that my website looked "too professional" and she thought she was dealing with a big company. I told her I'd make my website look more amateurish in future so that people wouldn't get confused
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Posts: 3888
Joined: 2006-07-07
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LIRL'd at the ruining christmas
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Posts: 4932
Joined: 2007-02-21
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Reminds me.. i listed some fully 3m material court force on ebay,the listing said 'these are 3m so when a bright light is shined on them, they will change colour'
I got a question asking 'Hi mate, which coloured ones are you actually selling, because i can see two colours in the picture, please get back to me, thanks'
What a dim twat 
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Posts: 7303
Joined: 2004-05-05
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I work in IT so have a high tolerance for customers being ignorant in this field of work. But not so long ago I was pretty shocked to be speaking to a 'technical director' for quite a large company and had a conversation which went something like this:
"What browser are you using?"
"Dell"
"I mean the browser that you use to view the website, firefox, Internet explorer??"
"I just told you, dell"
"Is it running windows xp?"
"Yes"
"Internet explorer should be the browser then"
"Yes, i knew that. It comes with dell"
It's people in real life that piss me off more though. At the weekend some bint told me off for walking around ikea the wrong way! She said there were arrows on the floor for a reason. I took out my headphones to hear her rant and then inserted them again and carried on my merry wrong way
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Posts: 54264
Joined: 2003-07-10
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smith i dun get that, which one are you and which one is the thicko...cos if you say dell to someone its obvios its windows xp...or is that the point?
confused from watford.
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Posts: 12188
Joined: 2003-11-27
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also....ive never been to Ikea - what are the arrows actually for?
(if you are meant to walk in that direction then they can screw themselves)
Edit: no pun intended.
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Posts: 1921
Joined: 2008-01-06
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smith wrote:
I work in IT so have a high tolerance for customers being ignorant in this field of work. But not so long ago I was pretty shocked to be speaking to a 'technical director' for quite a large company and had a conversation which went something like this:
"What browser are you using?"
"Dell"
"I mean the browser that you use to view the website, firefox, Internet explorer??"
"I just told you, dell"
"Is it running windows xp?"
"Yes"
"Internet explorer should be the browser then"
"Yes, i knew that. It comes with dell"
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Posts: 7303
Joined: 2004-05-05
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Noble Locks wrote:
smith i dun get that, which one are you and which one is the thicko...cos if you say dell to someone its obvios its windows xp...or is that the point?
confused from watford.
I was asking what browser he was using, not what computer he's got. Took a guess it was windows xp and would be Internet explorer. Guess it's me being a bit of a geek to 
FrIEND wrote:
also....ive never been to Ikea - what are the arrows actually for?
(if you are meant to walk in that direction then they can screw themselves)
Edit: no pun intended.
The ikea here in Berlin is on three floors and I guess if you don't know the way around you can easily get lost so there are arrows on the floor pointing out what direction to go. Some poeple think it is compulsory to follow it. Germans and their signs
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Posts: 8656
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The thing I can't cope with in Germany is the pedestrian traffic lights. The road will be empty, in the middle of the night - but no-one will dare set foot off the pavement until the green man appears.
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Posts: 7303
Joined: 2004-05-05
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MrPlatinum wrote:
The thing I can't cope with in Germany is the pedestrian traffic lights. The road will be empty, in the middle of the night - but no-one will dare set foot off the pavement until the green man appears.
Tell me about it I never wait and old biddies mutter something or give me evils. I can't see how you can get caught either (unless perhaps you do it right infront of polizei)
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Posts: 8656
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Posts: 12188
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first time I ever saw people waiting for the green man regardless of traffic completely confused me - started crossing without even thinking and then became super paranoid as I was the only person in the street and everyone was looking at me like i was about to steal their children.
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When i was working in the coop, the alarm was fucked so was going off while we were serving. It was pretty loud and annoying. Nearly every customer said "can't you turn it off?". Jesus tittyfucking christ, yeah of course we can turn it off, we just left it on to piss you off....
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Posts: 5016
Joined: 2004-05-21
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Good thread.
Girlfriends mate "Why don't penguins fly away from the north pole?"
Us "WHAT?! Penguins cant fly"
Her "Yes they can they fly in the water"
Us "That would be them swimming"
She is a teacher, you pay her wages to teach your kids 
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Posts: 765
Joined: 2005-10-11
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When my ex found out that my vegetarian mate doesn't eat jelly sweets because of the gelatin content, he asked me if the Jelly was the reason that Vegetarians don't eat pork pies....
of course it is dear.... that and the PORK!
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Posts: 7260
Joined: 2006-07-16
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Me: 'I am Legend' inspired Romero when making 'Dawn of the Dead'
Girlfriend: you mean 'Shaun of the Dead' you fucking idiot.
Me: yeah I'm such an idiot
Girlfriend: I know "Dawn of the Dead" - what an idiot.
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Posts: 2202
Joined: 2004-04-07
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^ Dumpable offence surely CV?
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Posts: 1274
Joined: 2007-03-08
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fanny lickin good wrote:
Good thread.
Girlfriends mate "Why don't penguins fly away from the north pole?"
Us "WHAT?! Penguins cant fly"
Her "Yes they can they fly in the water"
Us "That would be them swimming"
She is a teacher, you pay her wages to teach your kids
Noone thought to point out that there aren't any penguins in the Arctic?
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Posts: 3888
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Commander_Venus wrote:
Me: 'I am Legend' inspired Romero when making 'Dawn of the Dead'
Girlfriend: you mean 'Shaun of the Dead' you fucking idiot.
Me: yeah I'm such an idiot
Girlfriend: I know "Dawn of the Dead" - what an idiot.
missus are the worst for this kind of shit and they are always adamant that they are right.
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Posts: 12335
Joined: 2005-04-20
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Deceptral_Optometrics wrote:
Commander_Venus wrote:
Me: 'I am Legend' inspired Romero when making 'Dawn of the Dead'
Girlfriend: you mean 'Shaun of the Dead' you fucking idiot.
Me: yeah I'm such an idiot
Girlfriend: I know "Dawn of the Dead" - what an idiot.
missus are the worst for this kind of shit and they are always adamant that they are right.
Stand and Deliver!!!
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Posts: 5016
Joined: 2004-05-21
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Double D wrote:
fanny lickin good wrote:
Good thread.
Girlfriends mate "Why don't penguins fly away from the north pole?"
Us "WHAT?! Penguins cant fly"
Her "Yes they can they fly in the water"
Us "That would be them swimming"
She is a teacher, you pay her wages to teach your kids
Noone thought to point out that there aren't any penguins in the Arctic?
I think that was the least of our concerns after she mentioned FLYING IN WATER.
As for the Shaun Of The Dead/Dawn Of The Dead thing. At my work if I have anything with a hint of soul or funk in it one of the girls will go "can you turn up that J-Lo/Usher/or some other yank R&B shit song please" cos she recognises the sample and doesn't think for one second that somebody with the song writing genius of J-Lo wouldn't have written the entire song originally. Drives me mental 
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Posted: Tue, 12/02/2008 - 1:02pm
