thanks for confirming my csb bro.

Locks your a proper bad man

mad!

this line is just pure brilliant "you really are some sick evil fucked up individual aint you". poetic!

sounds like a BS fed story but basically, went out tonight to a local club - guest list n all that… the boys I was with are all straight laced - some of them don't even drink to this day. I fucked off from them to go say hello to one of the towns 'big hitters' that I hung about with back in the day, he grabbed my head from chin to forenut and prized ma jaws open… proceeded to stick his fingers RIGHT down my throat with 2 eckies between them.
Needless to say I ended up necking them - so far I've been thrown out the club and slapped from about 3/4 birds. hence why I'm on here doing everyones cunt in. sorry in advance.

So I was getting a taxi home last night with a girl, long term friend though, the driver reckons it'll be 15 quid so apparently she hands all the money over (had no cash on me at the time), the driver reckons she's only given him 11 quid so there's of course drunken arguments, I couldn't be fucked for it because this girl's a fucking lunatic when sober so wouldn't surprise me if the driver was telling to truth. Anyway, she paid some more. We were coming through town and I noticed one of my mates in a car next to us, so the taxi driver pulled into a bus lane so we could jump in with my mate. Girl's going mad at the driver saying to give some money back cus it wasn't even half the journey, walks off frustrated, kicks the fuck out of the taxi, taxi driver begins to pull off slowly and pokes his head out of the window, so this girl runs upto the window to continue arguing… Soon as she's in the window the cunt speeds off and she's hanging into this window with her little legs desperately spinning like fucking Road-runner's. 5 seconds later she's just fucking dropped in the middle of this main road, other cars driving by, big fuck off burns all down her shoulder, cuts and grazes on her head, knees and hands and her shorts had come down.. Tears and all sorts. Reckons the driver had grabbed onto her arm and wouldn't let go, but i'm pretty sure she was probably wringing his neck or squeezing his bollocks… Jeez.

She's your mate, side with her?

lad in sheffield told me this story couple years ago and i still dont know if i believe it or not, or if its a penguin at the zoo story.

This lad he knew (i knew who he was but didnt know him) and two of his mates had found out that some tools were being delivered to this building site and that as they were being delivered really early there was no one there but the site manager had told the guy delivering them to drop them over the fence and he'd get them when they arrived like 2 hours later.

So the three of them drive down to this site in van with flat back, wait for the tools to be delivered, jump the fence and nick them. when their driving back they suddenly hear "bdufff" like theyd hit something. They stop and get out looking around for something and find a cat lying on a grass bank spazzin out. Thinking they've hit the cat, their kind of panicing, not knowing what to do. The lad whose driving gets convinced hes gona have to put it out of its misery and gets a spade from the back of the van. Begrudgingly places it on the cats neck and slams it down, virtually beheading the cat. Simultaneously as he does that a woman comes screaming out of her house, "What the fuck are you doing thats my cat! I'm ringing the police" They try to explain that they'd unfortunately hit the cat and were putting it out of its misery. The police turn up and she says that the cat was epiletic and often had fits and that there was no damage to the cat so unlikely he was hit by the van.

The officer the goes to the van looking around for any marks that would verify the lads story. Looking under the front left wheel finds a ginger cat dead mangled. So they'd ran over a cat and then beheaded another one. The police understood the situation and let them go..

I havent heard anyone ever tell the story before so dont think its goes around, and the lad who said it refered specifically to who it was, not just a mate of a mate.

I always tell it as truth anyway.

so yeah. csb.

I don't even remember man… the only slap I remember was the first one - some bird started grinding her fanny against my arse on the dancefloor, thinking I was right in there I turned around and she was fucking horrid. I pretty much screamed and clinged on to my mate - looking at her in absolute horror… she slapped me on the face and called me something along the lines of "fucking horrible cunt" and waddled off.

I found another pill in my back pocket today (fuck knows where I got that one from) and it's white with green speckles with what looks like a dove logo on it, can't really make it out.

Everyone's heard a variation of that story, always from their mate's mate or some tenuous connection.

So yeah, cool fake story bro.