MrPlatinum wrote: I'd hardly call two pumps and a squirt (possibly over a rake) a "romp".

Best wrote: while at uni a girl came upto me in a club and she was saying 'oh my good is that you?' i was pissed up but i played along, after an hour or so of chatting utter utter shit to her and plying her with drinks it became apparent that she thought i was no other than david sneddon, the guy who beat lemar in fame academy years ago, a couple of hours passed and a few bullshit anecdotes later about fame, my record deal, and the time i met jordan we are in a taxi and im getting a hand job. We pull up outside her house but her parents are still up, she was 18 (no phil), she's chatting shit about always fancying me and Gareth gates and how she always voted for me. She was desperate 'too fuck a celeb' but as her parents we still up we went down to the bottom of her garden and got onto her dads shed, i grab a blanket and laid it down on the floor at which point she said 'nah thats alright i'll just bend over, david' so there i am pissed, freezing cold, in the middle of nowhere, with a girl who thinks im david sneddon fucking her from behind in her dads shed. I put in a pretty poor performance and came on a rake or something, and its very awkward, i pull my jeans up and at which point she says 'want to meet me mum?' The evening had been eventful but i really didn't fancy meeting the parents, made some bullshit excuse about having to be up early to go to london, she called a cab, i posed for a photo on her phone which she made her background and i left sharpish. that was three years ago, but it still makes me laugh today - i don't look anything like david sneddon