innit

Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

i like this one, gonna remember it for later in the pub

What is sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice…
Zorn's lemon…

wrong thread mate

^ im fucking so passed this life its unbelievable.

yeah, if it wasn't for the LOLZ i wouldn't of found it funny

some facebook gold:

Daniel ******** went from being "in a relationship" to "engaged". - Comment - Show Comments (6)

Wendy ********* at 19:42, on 17 January.
Since when?????

Gaz ******** at 20:37, on 17 January.
congratulations dude!!

Kirsty ************** at 21:55, on 17 January.
well i hope ur both very happy together. dont ever come near me again. 6 n a half years we were together n we're not even apart for a week and uv got engaged!!!! im stuck for words. im sure ur family is very fuckin happy. rot in hell

Mick ******** at 22:02, on 17 January.
congrats mate seems doris dint no then

Wendy ****** at 22:08, on 17 January.
think you will find i didnt know coz it aint true, think someone is trying to get him into trouble!!!!

Racheal ******* at 08:03, on 18 January.
looks like ppl av bin stickin their noses in other ppls business, its cos their own live are so borin n they av nothin better to do x


one of my mates changed his status

got a mate who is referring to every woman/girl as doris at the moment. its so rude, but i cant help but laugh when you see their faces..

from Popbitch this week, made me laugh

"Dr, would you kiss me?" says the patient.

"No", says the doctor. "You are a very beautiful woman but it's against my code of ethics."

"Please, just one kiss", she asks again.

"It's totally out of the question" he replies. "Strictly speaking you shouldn't even be sucking my cock."

A Scottish mate of mine does this, and then proceeds to ask them for a cigarette. I can't help but laugh. He seems to get away with it everytime too.

People i work with are mainly gents in their 40's. they're so impolitically correct its not true, way way worse than my mates even when my mates would just be joking. as we're on a customer site you'd think they'd be some sort of consideration but every woman gets called "Doris" (at best), anyone with any sort of ethnicity gets what Id consider a racist nickname (and i think im pretty easy going when it comes to this stuff).

one of the guys is a muslim and every time the cleaning woman walks past who appears to be of indian origin my manager gives him a little elbow and says "go on! get in there!"

now im not imagining things…thats a bit out of line isnt it?

^ Nothing! I use it all the time. If someone doesn't like it then it's their problem.

It's funny as up home we use 'pet' which is widely accepted but down south call anyone pet and they give you one hell of a look.

The opposite, which annoyingly I have picked up in the 9 years living down here, is using 'darling'. Use that up north and it's the same as using 'pet' down here, whilst down here it's the norm!

It's all PC bollocks.

People should learn to put up with regional & cultural discrepancies if they want to live in a multi cultural society.