How does every sexist joke start?




























By making sure your out of earshot of the kitchen

Rejected ideas for Microsoft Windows 7. "Hi I'm Kate McCann & leaving Windows open was my idea."
"Hi I'm Joseph Fritzel & not having Windows was my idea."
"Hi, I'm Harvey Price & licking windows was my idea."

haha,,didnt get the Kate Mccann one though?

is that the kid that went missing?

rewatched the aristocrats last night, found myself substituting all the characters with various fuk people, everyone should try it, made the movie so much more brilliant, i.e.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's noble, jet, font, ddd and jacks dog. Noble says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
noble says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."


…….proceed with joke…………


For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
Fontelroy says, "The Aristocrats!"

^ Rotten in Denmark, Dag.

What’s the difference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole?

The volcano’s still blowing ash.

Just had a policeman at the door. He said "It looks like your lass's been in an accident".
I replied "Yeah I know, but she's got a lovely personality."

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"