28 Jun 2009 13:12
i currently at my local cocktail bar having breakfast, reading the paper etc. and next to me is the three worst humans ive ever heard/seen.
early 30's professionals, all white, middle class.
started up by quizzing the waitress about the breakfast, basically disecting the components, "is there cream in the eggs, can i have brown instead of white, can i have the pudding rare" etc.
they then went to talk about a night out where they were scared because of the amount of "blacks" about. reminded them of seven sisters apparently.
then they started comparing degree scores. fair enough… all got firsts… in their FIRST degree's. they all done second degrees and masters.. cunts.
then and heres the bit that made me want to go home and get my spade to batter them to death. the blonde trophy bitch said "i hate being so intelligent, people resent me at work."
YOU FUCKING CUNT SLAG
how can you live like that? honestly?
28 Jun 2009 13:21
Get cunts like that at the Brasserie I work at all the time,
One said the other day that since she's had a tummy tuck she's put on 2 stone,
fucking bint she'll have to have another soon.
28 Jun 2009 13:22
i would take a photo but my tooth is fucked on my dog.
but no shes not fit, shes that proper stuck up slag shit that should be shot. she now "cant bring herself to eat her smoked salmon"
5 Jul 2009 15:02
A couple from here:
Girl 1: Hey, do you know Ashlie?
Girl 2: Um, Ashlie who is with Tyler?
Girl 1: Yea, though she's not with Tyler any more
Girl 2: Oh why not?
Girl 1: Well tyler came back home drunk one night and pissed on her.
Man on phone walking down street: You know when sometimes you come home drunk and wake up the next day not remembering what you've done? Well, apparently I set up a porno site…
5 Jul 2009 15:11
riding down saville row yesterday morning i heard a guy (about 6.6", built like a tank, looked like that tamir guy from the business) saying loudly on the phone as i rode past.. 'to be honest mate, i'm prepared to do 2 years inside for that'.
in amsterdam recently was walking through vondelpark and some rastafarian looking dude rolled past me and said 'shabba' as he went past. this actually happened, i wasn't stoned and he said it direct to me and didn't break his walk.
5 Jul 2009 16:28
I was walking through morrisons car park and as a car drove past me the guy in it looked at me and said "rest in peace".
5 Jul 2009 17:03
well, aren't we judgemental..
5 Jul 2009 22:43
a young woman, worryingly dragging 3 children with her, sits next to a 12 year old boy behind me on the bus,
Woman: ah, how you doin?
Boy: (gives some sort of generic response)
Woman: (loud enough for entire bus to hear) tell your cousin not to sleep with chenise cos shes got chlamidia.
Boy: thats butters, its ok tho, he'd probably just try and get head off her.
Woman: ok cool, shes a bitch tho, I got beef with her cos she told everyone i 'Mashed' my 'Elder'.
Boy: Is it?
Woman: what? you think i'm a slag? AAAnyway, she's the osh, shes been made pregnant 5 times by Barry.
Boy: slag, (maybe as some offer of helpfulness) she gets on my bus everyday on the way to school you know, I can tell you what stop if you want to fight her.
Woman: safe, this is my stop (dragging the three kids with her, and shouting as she goes down the stairs), we'll talk on MSN innit.
Boy: bless, you definitely gonna bang her up then?
Woman: (now out of sight down the stairs but still shouting) Dun Know.
nothing better than a bus journey around Hackney.
2 Aug 2009 01:44
Was on the train today off to some remote fishing village, there were two girls sat in the seats across the aisle from me:
Girl 1: So have you asked Amber whether she's going to do it?
Girl 2: Yea, I think she's pretty certain now, which is good.
Girl 1: Cool, I mean, if you're stripping anyway you might as well take that extra step and make yourself some extra paper
Girl 2: You know that, I'm just glad I didn't think about for as long as she has
Girl 1: Me too.
2 Aug 2009 02:15
I was getting the night bus back from central about 4 in the morning, sitting on the top deck, proper packed.
this fat kid starts blazing a spliff and its stinking up the bus. the driver switches of the engine and over the tannoy shouts in the thickest rasta accent "DON'T SMOKE THE SHIT!"
the bloke shits himself and chucks the zoot out the window.
and who said bus drivers weren't professional?
2 Aug 2009 18:11
Walking past a chav couple in Nottingham city centre
*Girl and Lad stop outside of JJB Sports*
Girl: Are we going in?
Lad: Nah… they don't do Donnay.