Mr X wrote: I thought this local girl was quite fit, she does look not bad in some pics. She came up on my F-book suggestions… so I read her twitter via the link which was funny. She doesn't come from my town, she comes from the Isle of Portland which is up the road connected by a beach. The place is different… a place where you can't say the word rabbit.

Anyway last June, I was riding my bike one afternoon and she'd spotted me then tweeted me. I added her on Facebook. Then reading her tweets she wanted to lift to work one day because she was not feeling up to it. As I only live down the beach road I offered. She arranged the meeting point via FB message. A co-op on the hill.

I waited a while at 10:00am in my Fiesta. Out of a dark alley this figue appeared. A tonne of lipgloss and mirrored aviators. She was LOUD. Possibly due to the ear buds still being in her ears listening to drum and bass. There's some silence she talks about Drum and Bass music, her up coming birthday, her mothers Brum accent. It's a boiling hot day, I ask for a swig of her strawberry oasis drink. She hands it over. I drop her off outside her work. A cafe bar. Not a thank you just a huge slam of my door. Cheers.

I was a bit annoyed by that and unleashed a torrent of abuse on twitter. Feeling bad I sent a customised card with a banksy image on the front, £50 cash and an apologetic note.

The next thing I know police knock at my door. Had to go to the station and explain the above. I got a caution. The end.